The Cockroach Whisperer

The following slew of events took place just last night:

I was taking my reusable grocery bags back out to the car where I keep them. It was about 10pm. I opened the door from the house to the garage, turned on the light and proceeded down the steps with my faithful white dog close behind. Jake and I were rounding the front of the parked car to come around on the driver's side. As we were walking I noticed that something else was walking as well. It rounded the back of the car and came up on the driver's side. In my tired state I took a few more steps to see just what it was. Apparently, it was doing the same. As we both approached one another my brain kicked in and I realized just what I was walking towards...a HUGE cockroach. Immediately I spoke, "Nobody Move!" I froze, Jake froze, the cockroach froze. I breathed a sigh of relief thinking that had really been a close one. Then I remembered we were all just frozen there. I quickly pointed my finger at the cockroach and said, "You, move. You need to leave." Without hesitation the cockroach turned and walked away. I breathed another sigh of relief and threw the shopping bags into the backseat of the car.
I looked at Jake, he looked at me and we headed back up the steps into the house. As I was reaching to turn off the light, it hit me. I am the cockroach whisperer.